Sickly Sweet
by The Hopeless Wanderlust
Summary: FOR DISORDER OF THE MIND: NATSUME CONTEST—He could never sees the world as he used to. Screams of agony, tears of fear, rusty smell of oozing blood, it’s a sickly sweet revenge until he meets her. One shot AU. #13 GA Heavy Angsty and Romance.


Thank you, guys... This story won an award under The Story That Moves You. I'm glad you enjoyed reading. :)

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**This is a Rated M/T one-shot for aggressive behavior, disturbing scenes (no thorough rape/sex scene) and verbal abuses. Don't own squat: GA's characters, STEPHAN KING'S Room 1408, THREE DAYS GRACE's Never Too Late, TWILIGHT's Volvo, SWEETNEY TODD'S razor. **

**OOC ALERT! Alternate Universe, readers… This is the dark, sinister side of Gakuen Alice, ENJOY~ Just as stated in the rules: A Natsume x Mikan story.**

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_**This is a submission to Disorder of the Mind: Natsume contest. If you wish to participate, see Rekindled Moroseness's profile. Submission starts on January 14 and ends on March 18. Voting period is from March 20 to March 25 and the winner will be announced on Rekindled Moroseness's profile on March 26.**_

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**Title: Sickly Sweet**

**Pen name: The Hopeless Wanderlust**

**Type of disorder: Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD or APD) Code: DSM-IV 301.7**

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For Rekindled Moroseness

My half, my bestie, my muse

I blame thee for my writing here

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"No one will ever see  
This side reflected  
And if there's something wrong  
Who would have guessed it  
And I have left alone  
Everything that I own  
To make you feel like it's not too late  
It's never too late."

-Never Too Late by Three Days Grace

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_Pant. Pant. Pant._

Another slight movement in the dark apprised him that he wasn't alone. His ebon eyes peered in the dark with cautious. He maneuvered slowly through the hall of his large penthouse, brushing his fingers on random things to feel his way with interval pausing. At first, he thought it was just a short circuit—not until a broken vase startled him from a corner with a glimpse of disappearing silhouette, not far from where he was standing.

"Who's there?" Tonouchi Akira croaked. His voice weaved with fear. He doesn't have a cat or a dog, and it was outright impossible that a vase could just fall down on its own accord. He lived alone, usually, except during the weekends and time offs—where women, either younger or older, would accompany the rich bachelor throughout the night. However that night, Tono was exhausted from his architectural work that had dragged for weeks, finally met its end that evening. He hadn't slept with any women for so long and he was at his limit. A deep chuckle interrupted Tono's thoughts and he darted his head with panic washed over him.

"This is not funny, Tsubasa! Fuck you." Tono laughed nervously, trying to loosen up by the thought that his best friend was pulling a prank on him. Another crash of broken china startled him again. "Oy! That cost a fortune—" and another crash was at another corner. Tono lips whitened. The random crashing sound was getting closer towards him. He understood immediately that that wasn't his best friend, Tsubasa Andou. There was someone else in the house; an intruder. The series of breaking china was scaring the life out of him. Tono face paled with fear as the sound grew nearer towards him from odd corners.

It took him a while for his adrenalin to kick in and he ran towards the drawer where the gun was secreted. He revealed the hidden compartment beneath the piece of slat that faked the depth of the drawer. To his horror, the compartment was empty. Someone had taken the gun out. Tono jaw dropped and his eyes widened with terror when he heard a click nearby from his back. Familiarized with the clicking sound from the gun's slide, he raised both his hand high at his sides.

"Whoever you are, let's talk this out," Tono voice husked as he stood fidgety. He cursed quietly when the stranger merely stood still from a distant, unbothered. "Please don't shoot. I am the only child, my mom lives on my income—" and the sound of the advancing footsteps choked the rest of his words in his throat. Within a few seconds, the trespasser was at his back. Panicked, Tono caught sight of a vase on the drawer in front of him. He swiftly grabbed it and pinpointed his energy in hitting the vase at the stranger's head as he swiveled.

A loud crash echoed through the eerie dark night along with a groan, the intruder was on his knees. Tono took that opportunity to run towards the door but he tripped on something solid and large. The long black haired man groaned in agony, rubbing his bulging temple. His eyes zeroed on the solid obstacle, cursing under his breath before he stared wide-eyed at the obstacle.

"OHMYGOD!" Tono was horrorstruck. He crawled on backward with an alarming speed and glued his back to the wall. There, lying under the glowing rivulets of moonlight shining through the wide windows was his best friend, lifeless. There was a large slashed wound across his face, and what scared him the most was that Tsubasa had a horror expression on his face. He stared at the body for so long that the intruder appeared beside the body, half of the man's body glowed under the many rivulets. Tono got a glimpse of dripping red droplets that fell on the floor where the man stood. Tono then took note a trail of it all the way from the hall. He gasped in horror, realizing that the intruder was no ordinary intruder. He's a psychopath killer.

"PLEASE! PLEASE! WHO ARE YOU! DON'T KILL ME! PLEASE SPARE ME!" Tono begged on his knees, twining his fingers together above his head; downcast eyes shut tight. The intruder chuckled in amused.

"You did the same pose I did when I was five as I begged for mercy," his voice crooned. Tono blinked in realization and he darted his head to see his face that was veiled by the dimness. It was impossible, that person he knew was supposedly—

Tono shook his head, trying to believe himself in saying it out loud. If he wasn't mistaken, the person who was standing in front of him might be—

"Natsume Hyuuga…" breathed Tono in disbelief as his lips went chapped. Natsume took a step forward, revealing his handsome features under the soft illumination. His crimson eyes were stone cold and it didn't disturb him that he was standing beside a brutally murdered body. "I-I-I-I thought you were—" Natsume's disgusted grunt cut his sentence off mid-way.

"Dead? I'm still breathing here, well and alive, aren't I?" his velvety voice said. He then tilted his head, his eyes narrowed in anger and with fluid soft voice, he muttered, "Was it fun to rape me before?" Tono chapped lips were barely parted as horror struck on his face when he saw what came next: a silver revolver pointed to his face.

_Bang_!

The sound echoed throughout the dark penthouse at each corner. Natsume's lips tugged to a corner when he saw blood began to ooze from the hole on Tono's forehead. Soon, the lifeless figure slid to the right, leaving a bloody trail on the light colored wall and fell on the ground with a growing blood pool. His eyes were still wide open. Natsume placed the gun inside a black bag. He fished a little worn out diary and opened to a page that marked with a red marker. A few blood droplets fell on the page.

"Shit," he cursed as he touched the bleeding wound on his forehead with two fingers. Rolling his eyes in chagrin, he shifted his gaze to the diary. There was a list of names; six of them and three were crossed out messily. He bit the cap of the pen and separated the cap off the body with a pull.

"Two done, one to go," he muttered as he scribbled two names and there was one name left: Izumi Yukihara.

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The apartment's door to Room 1408 clicked open as lights from the corridor streamed in and a raven haired teenager entered, closing the door after that. Darkness greeted him but Natsume didn't bother to switch the lights on. Instead, after a few pace forward, he turned to his right and walked towards the bed. He turned the lamp on beside his bed and saw the black digital clock read 3:01AM in red. Soft yellow glow bathed the small apartment, casting huge shadows on the olive soft wall and the tapestry wall at the other side of the room. He threw the black bag aside.

Natsume sat at the side of yellow satin with crimson stitches queen size bed, placing his hands on his face and his elbows on his knees. A long exasperated sigh escaped his parted lips. The hair at the back of his neck stood, he felt a presence of another in the room.

"Just one more, Aoi… One more," he muttered without shifting his head. Onlooking, there was no other in the room except for him; paranoiac took the best of him. He wasn't delusional but at least it felt better to say it out with the thought of his sister might have heard it somehow. He ran his fingers through his hair, gripping it as though he was about to pull it out. Natsume was having a terrible migraine and it always happened every time his traumatic past ran into his head. The raven teenager took off his black t-shirt, revealing a sturdy body under. He then fished out a small container from the drawer beside him and ate an overdosage of painkiller.

With the world that soon seemed to twirl around, even the portrait of the ship that caught in the middle of a raging storm seemed to be in motion; he fell into the world of oblivion.

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The five year old Natsume couldn't believe how his day that was so lively and happy that morning, now turned into a disastrous nightmare that evening. Upon arriving home with his sister after playing in the field outside the mansion's compound, they were greeted by their parent's dead bodies that lay on the floor over the pool of blood. His mother's clothes were torn and her head was in an odd angle. His father throat slit open and his arm was broken to three. Beside the dead bodies, six people stood like statue. They were covered in blood and when Natsume and his sister entered, they swiveled and had their barbaric eyes were on them.

Natsume took Aoi by the wrist and began to run away but the two teenagers amongst those six caught them before they could run out from the large porch. They screamed for help but their mouth was stuffed with clothes.

"We can't afford to let them live as well, who knows what would be of us when they—" began the oldest looking man among them. Natsume knew that man. He was supposed to be one of his father's best friends, Serio Rei.

"—we got what we wanted, didn't we?" a mauve haired teenage interrupted, showing him the case. His other arm was wrapped around the crying Aoi. Natsume then knew that they killed his parents for a rare discovery his father was working on that cost more than mere millions.

"Tsubasa, Serio's right you know, I mean look at them…" Tono unconsciously licked his lips as he caressed Natsume's cheek who shivered in fear under his gentle touch. Tono gave a knowing glance at Tsubasa who smirked in reply. 'It'd be fun,' Tsubasa mouthed, scrunching his nose in amused.

"You're sick, Tsubasa." Kaname Sano rolled his eyes at his comrade. He was the only person who didn't have that much blood stains on him. He was the mastermind of the six who planned to steal the important research. Tsubasa gave him a smirk in reply.

"Not as sick as you who told us to brutally kill the Hyuuga couple and senselessly rape the woman till she died." Tsubasa glowered at Kaname who chuckled and walked away.

"I've always wanted her. Well, whatever. Clean up the mess before you leave, guys. Don't leave anything behind." He waved his hand, unaffected and disappeared from sight, followed by Izumi Yukihara who was going to be the head scientist of the research.

"Finish them both," muttered the man with a husky voice, giving them a knowing look and he closed the door behind him. With a tacit awareness, Natsume screamed in fear when they were left alone with the four men. Gasping in horror, he was left to suffer a dark experience that soon printed deeply in his mind that mentally affected him for the rest of his life…

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Natsume woke up next morning with a start, shouting his sister's name and panting hard. He closed his eyes in chagrin, rubbing his face with a hand. It was a dream but it felt so realistic. He clicked his tongue in loathing.

He was once again washed with the emotions he had when he was five: disgusted, fearful and hatred. He could see how the messed up body of his sister laid on the floor beside him. At that time he was barely breathing and his sight darkened every few minutes as his body too was sexually abused and wounded. His eyes were swollen and if he could cry, it would be blood pouring out instead of tears.

He remembered how his little self felt too exhausted that he fell unconscious again. When the little Natsume woke up after that, he found himself trapped in a wooden box. Natsume called out for help, but he belatedly realized that there was no one for the rescue. He observed the box and it was terribly sealed up. With all his might he tried to break the box open with a cost of a few broken nails and bleeding fingers. He kicked the box opened and looked around, coughing and his eyes watered painfully.

The little boy was in the hut at the end of his mansion compound, and worst, it was burning down. Through the ferocious fire and thickening suffocating smoke, he managed to get out and ran away. He didn't know how long he had run but he knew that he was already at the end of the city. It was dark and his aching body wasn't a help to give him the will to run any further. His hunger took toll and after a while, his head was devoid of blood. The little Natsume then fell down flat on his face to nothingness on the muddy side road.

The irony part was that, there was no one who would come for the Hyuuga after that. Everyone believed that the Hyuuga had left; some believed that they got killed and none survived. Natsume was washed in relief when he woke up the next day in a house belonged to an old couple who took care of him since then. It wasn't long before they died and he moved on to the next city at the age of ten. With the small inheritance he got from the old couple, he enrolled himself into a prestigious school with scholarship called Alice Academy and graduated first place without even a hitch. He was born a genius and talented. Everything he did was well produced with a smear of uniqueness and outstanding. He was a loner and it didn't bother him so. Everyone saw him as an intimidating intellect, silently wishing that he would just disappear from sight.

Now, the eighteen year old was waiting for an offer from a university. He shoved all offer letters he received from Oxford, Stamford and many other best universities in the world into the bin, although all of them offered him doing Medicine, Architecture or Law with full scholarship. He did want to do Medicine, but not overseas. He wanted to do in only one local university: University of Tokyo. He rasped his throat in disgust upon the thought. For thirteen years he had lived with one will: to seek revenge. He had killed five of the men who had brutally killed his family and to know that it was just a stone away for him to complete the list, his chest swelled in ecstasy.

Natsume was in the coffee shop when the neighborhood's postman came by. "Natsume Igarashi." Natsume darted to look. Natsume had chosen to use a metronymic name since the day he was taken in by the old couple he owed. The surname "Hyuuga" had to be abandoned and the only choice left was his mother's maiden name.

"Yome," Natsume greeted him a nod and he took a sip from his latte. Kokoroyomi Yome took a seat beside the lad with a big grin on his face. "Is there anything from University T?" Natsume asked without shifting his gaze from the newspaper, reading about a headline regarding another two bodies were found brutally killed. Koko clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"Come on, Igarashi. Every day I give you a bunch of offer letters from overseas and all you want is an offer from local? That's a waste! Not that our local is terrible but with your—" Koko's complaints got choked on his throat when he received a sharp glare from the latter. He knew that Natsume was hard to approach and Natsume was known to always shunting his life from the world.

Koko sighed in exasperation, knowing that Natsume would only talk to him for the sake of the said letter. Koko fished out a big envelope and placed it on the table. "There you go, congrats by the way. They stated it clearly till your grandfather's name: Natsume Igurashi Hyuuga." Oblivious of Natsume flinching upon the name 'Hyuuga', Koko gave him a wide smile before he leave, "Have a nice day, Igarashi."

Natsume took the letter, examining it for a bit before tearing it open. It had been thirteen years he used the name 'Igarashi' but to see that his old name now printed on the paper made him to loathe. "Natsume Igurashi Hyuuga," he muttered as he read on that he was accepted with not only a scholarship, but with a large number for allowance per month. He chuckled darkly; it looked like the university had just bribed him to enter the university at all cost, and he would gladly accept it with open arms.

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Years passed and Natsume excelled every year with top score in every exam. He even did a few magnificent discoveries and was rewarded with awards. His aim: to gain trust from Professor Izumi Yukihara, was as easy as breathing. Natsume was known to be the professor's favorite student, some even rumored that he wanted him to be his son-in-law. He was in his final years of his degree when the chance to kill was laid before him.

It was dark that night and unlike others, Natsume was as usual would be in the labs, doing some researches for his latest assignment. This time he was studying on dead bodies, anatomy of human, when Professor Izumi entered the lab.

"Ah Natsume-kun, hardworking hard as always …very admiring." The professor flashed him a smile that Natsume replied with a nod. Izumi got used with the boy's impassive face with tacit acknowledgement that Natsume was a man with few words.

"It's late, sir. Aren't you supposedly to go back home?" said Natsume as he concentrated in dissecting the skin of the dead body with care, not to damage any blood vessel. Soon the once pale skin revealed dark red layers of epithelium in an open wound.

The older man laughed. "That's my line, Natsume. I am on my way back, but I have something to give you. It's something precious." Natsume raised a questioning brow, faking a surprised gesture. He stood up right and turned to look at the man with a trace of keen interest.

"Really? What is it?" Natsume's velvety voice chuckled in amused. Izumi gave him a wide smile, wrinkles of old age appeared under his butterscotch eyes. He took a small rectangle box out his pocket and trusted it into Natsume's hands.

"This was a precious gift given to me by a friend of mine before I got my first award for the best discovery I've ever found." Natsume flinched slightly in disgust. He knew that the discovery was actually stolen from his dad. Natsume clicked the box open, revealing a large shining razor with "Hyuuga & Yukihara" carved elegantly at a corner. "Coincidently, the person who gave me this has the similar surname name to you, but I hope that with this, you would consider dating my beautiful daughter?"

His chest was raging in anger and loath but he turned to meet Izumi's gaze with pleasing eyes. "I would love to meet her, sir." A small smile was on his lips. The professor gasped in surprise and he was indeed happy to know it.

"We are going to have a family dinner this Saturday, I hope you could join us," Izumi invited, hopeful glinting in his eyes.

"That would be great, sir," Natsume nodded, placing the opened box on the table. The latter couldn't help but to hold his clasp hands closed to his chin, staring at the young man with wonder written all over his face. He then took a glance on his watch, wide-eyed.

"Oh, gosh, I have to go. This new research is becoming a pain. I wanted to abandon it but, tsk," Izumi face stirred with grief and stress. "Take care, Natsume," he said with a waving his hand and began to walk away.

"Sir," Natsume called out so unexpectedly, the latter startled terribly.

"Yes?" Izumi darted his head, looking at him promptly. Natsume took the razor out and the silver blade got caught by the light. Izumi flinched when the light blinded his eyes for a moment.

"You know. I have to admit. As a child, I had a similar thing like this and I had always admired it." Natsume turned the razor over and over again with his fingers. It was a flip razor and he pressed the beautiful sigil with his thumb on the housing of the blade. Izumi gave him a probing stare.

"I don't understand what you are getting at Natsume," he stated unsure. Natsume chuckled, averted his striking crimson eyes to the professor without shifting his head, glowering darkly.

"Actually you do, it's just that you've forgotten and you need to be reminded." Natsume walked towards the man with steady pace and soon strolled around the man, like a tiger circling a prey. Izumi felt slightly uncomfortable with his sudden change of attitude.

"What are you talking about?" The professor stood fidgety. Natsume stopped pacing once he stood in front of the man and stared at him in the eyes.

"You used to tell me that nothing happens by coincidence. What happened is meant to be happened, there is no such thing as coincident. Am I not right?" asked Natsume, giving him a knowing look. The older man's face paled.

"I-I seriously need to go, Natsume. I think you are tired too. Why don't you continue this tomorrow," he suggested, pacing backwards. Natsume hard gaze didn't waver from the man, who was shivering with fear. The man turned on his heels, trying to run towards the door when Natsume caught him by the wrist and locked his arm at his back. Izumi shrieked in pain. Natsume flipped the razor open and pressed it on the man's throat. His chin rested on the Izumi's shoulder with his front leaning against the man's back.

"Why are you doing this Natsume?" Izumi's voice was laced in fear as he shifted his head a little to look at Natsume at the corner of his eyes. Natsume chuckled in a sinister way and stroked the blade up and down his throat for a tease. Izumi gulped with great effort. He knew well how sharp the razor was. It was his before.

"Well, let's just say I'm just curious how sharp this blade is for a start, shall we give it a try?" and Natsume's eyes hardened in anger as he cut his throat with a swift. Izumi gasped with horror, pressing on the wound to stop the bleed as he turned to look at the smirking Natsume after he escaped from his iron clutch. His crimson eyes shone in excitement to see the shining red streamed down from the neck, soaking the professor's white coat all together. Izumi's eyes widened in terror and he panicked.

"What have you done to me?!" he choked and as he spoke, spurt of blood dripped on Natsume's coat and face. Natsume wiped the blood off his face at the back of his hand and licked it alluringly, his crimson eyes was still fixated at the dying man who stood in front of him.

"My name is Natsume Hyuuga, the son of the man you killed seventeen years ago." Izumi stared at him, wide-eyed as he gave him a knowing finger and fear stricken him as he finally understood Natsume's action.

"You—re a—liv—e yo—u so—n of a bit—ch," he said in difficulty, disbelief laced his voice. Natsume swiftly made cuts on the man's arm, looking as though he was doing it on suicide purposes. Izumi screamed a silent scream as he fell on his knees and it wasn't long before he took his last breath, died over the growing pool of blood. Natsume inflicted himself a little, making at it to look as though it was self defense wound. He pressed the blade casing into the professor's fist, looking as though it as was the professor who had held it. Then, Natsume picked it up and place it beside the pool of blood. Natsume stood up straight, observing thoroughly. He nodded his head, approvingly. A smirk was on his face.

"Now, _time for some drama_..."

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It was already midnight but the ground of University of Tokyo was still alive. Instead of swarms of students, it was filled with polices and cars.

"He told me for the past few days that he was stressed up with the latest research. I was in the lab when he suddenly came in with the razor in his hand. He seemed drunk or I think he's doing drugs." Natsume paused when the detective was interrupted by one of his men, whispering to his ears.

"It seems that we found some drugs in his blood," he saw the blond detective nodded. A twisted smile flashed on Natsume's face for a moment when the latter was busy with another policeman. It was a good thing that he had given the doctor some doses during his tea time, he knew it would show its effect around the time he'll meet Natsume. It was a norm for the professor to meet Natsume in the lab every time before he left home. Natsume even predicted that the professor might invite him to dinner that night. He heard Izumi was talking over the phone that morning. About the razor, well, that was a bonus to make Natsume's plan to pull off easier than he had calculated.

"Sorry to make you wait, Igarashi-san," the blond detective gave him a friendly smile. He positioned himself back where his pen was ready to write anything Natsume would say on his little notebook beckoning Natsume to continue.

"It's alright, err, I didn't catch your name earlier?" Natsume asked politely though his expression seemed uninterested.

"Oh, it's Inspector Nogi, Ruka Nogi, nice to meet you," said the detective as they shook hands. "And your story, please explain what happened next."

"I tried to take the razor from him but I was clumsy and got hurt in the process." Natsume showed him the well treated wound on his arms and some cuts on his face. "The next thing I knew is that he cut himself at the throat. I must say, that shocked me," Natsume admitted with rising brows, staring at the detective with sincere eyes. Inspector Nogi laughed shakily.

"That would surprise anyone else too," he flashed him a smile. He was about to talk when their conversation was interrupted by a woman's scream. Their head dart to look at the woman. She was in her late thirties, crying as a young woman who had the same auburn hair, held her back, comforting her mother. She too was crying but seeing her mother in a terrible state, she discarded her feelings aside for her mother's sake. Inspector Ruka was about to walk towards them when Natsume held him back with an arm sticking out, blocking his way.

"I'll handle this," Natsume said with an assured nod.

"That would be a great help. I'll meet them afterwards," said the inspector, an apologetic smile appeared across his face. Little that Natsume knew, that now his fate was set in motion and his will to kill the entire professor's family member would backfire one day: What goes around, comes around.

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Natsume wasn't aware that after seventeen years, he was lost—again. There he stood, all the chaos was in a halt, the screaming and the noises suddenly muted, his eyes zeroed to a certain pair of lucid butterscotch eyes that was staring at him with misery. It took him a while to notice that he had held his breath for a long time, only to breathe when his head began to spin in agony. Everything went back to life again, like the button 'play' was pressed.

"Er… Miss Yukihira," his voice husked uncertain, a consoling hand on her back. Now that the wife of the dead professor had calmed down and she was with Inspector Nogi whom Natsume then knew that he was the family's friend, he was left alone to comfort the only daughter of the deceased: Mikan Yukihira. Natsume froze when she leaned her head against his chest, her delicate fingers tugged on his shirt as though he was the only thing she could hold on to from falling.

Natsume gulped, he wasn't sure why his heart was beating violently against his chest as though it going to jump out anytime soon, but her heat against his cold skin and the feeling of her small frame that fit perfectly in his iron arms made him felt a whole new feeling he never felt before. He saw that she was biting her lips so hard, that her lips whitened. She was trying to hold her tears back in vain.

"Please… if you want to cry, just cry," Natsume felt numb when he said those words with a soft voice. His mind was all mess up. He didn't feel like himself. The next thing he knew was that she finally burst to tears, her arms wrapped around his body and her face in his chest. He didn't miss her low "Why… why did he leave us… why did he kill himself…" mutterings between her sobs. It was then dawn to him a feeling that was once lost: devastation.

With a hesitant hand, he placed it on her head, looking away as a shade of blush colored his pale cheek. He cursed inwardly, thinking critically if she had done something to make him felt that way.

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A grandiose silver Volvo car entered through the opening tall white gates of the Igarashi Mansion, coming to a standstill under the large porch with a purr. The sleek door caught the bright radiant when it clicked open, out came a tall handsome raven haired man in his late-twenties. He had a stereoscope and a doctor uniform in his hand, playing with the car keys in another.

"Natsume," called a honeyed voice and the said man swiveled, meeting the stern gaze of his wife. Her long auburn hair was caught along by the breeze, whisking away as she walked down the stairs with quick steps. His crimson eyes hardened when she walked towards him, again, taking his breath away. He threw his gaze to the floor in disgust. It got even harder to kill her now. No matter what he did, the longer he stayed with her, the harder it got to kill her. They got married for almost a year now.

"Natsume," Mikan said again, this time it was gentler and sweet with a clever smile on her face. His heart skipped a beat before he met her loving gaze. An almost croaking "what," was all he could say in the midst of nervousness and confusion that fluttered in his chest. She caressed his cheek in tender and took his things in her hands. "I found this. That's so sweet of you… I didn't know you're him…" Natsume brow rose slightly before he was caught off guard by a photo she waved in her hand, flabbergasted. "I never knew you kept this so nicely. Did you love me before too?"

Mikan went puzzled at the seriousness that ceased on Natsume's face. He looked as though he wanted to get angry but he looked lost at the same time. His lips parted a few times, trying to say something but all he could do was to stare intently at the old photo and then averted his gaze to her. "Y-You're her…?" Mikan knew that wasn't a question but more to a surprised tone. This time, it was Mikan who looked upset.

"What do you mean by that? Of course this is me. I was four here." Natsume blanched. He realized in chagrin that he no longer have the will to kill her even how much he wanted to. His probing eyes stared back at the picture. There, smiling brightly as she ran under a Sakura Tree that showered her with its petals was a little Mikan, caught in a standstill memory. The picture was faded along with the untidy handwriting of the little girl scribbling 'Tangerine x Crimson' at the side of photo. He had swore that if there was a woman whom he'll love, it'd be Tangerine. He had long searched for her, forgetting the fact that she was his father's best friend's only daughter.

Letting go of his emotions that he had caged in his chest, he took her by the arm and pulled her to meet her lips with his own. Mikan dropped his things out of surprise and she went feeble when he traced two fingers along her jaw line, making her shiver under his touch and his sudden passionate kiss. Mikan had never felt his kiss that fervent before, it felt as though he had hold back his feelings all the years they had been together. He pushed her slightly against his warm Volvo, a teasing hand trailed to her waistline to her hips before he pulled her left thigh to wrap around his waist. Mikan startled by his action, trying to break free from his kiss to question him but he slipped his tongue in her parted lips, caging her in his arms and sent a trailing butterfly kisses to her neck.

"N-N-Natsu-me," she choked his name in between of her hushed moan that was almost in vain, closing her eyes and trying to focus on how to make him stop with her fuzzy mind. "N-N-Not here, please…" His velvety voice chuckled once in her ear, making her shuddered ticklishly.

"I'll carry you in, sweetheart," he breathed teasingly making her blushed harder. Mikan had never heard him calling her with beautiful names before and it felt as though she was facing a different Natsume. He left his stuff on the ground, knowing that his maid would take it for him. He carried her like a bride to his study room at his right after entering the house.

"Not here, in our room!" Mikan snapped bewilderedly when he closed the door. He caged her against the door, caressing her cheek with an amused smile on his face. He was barely an inch away from her face as he stared intently into her annoyed gaze. His head leaned against his arm that he place above her head. His teasing hand soon was in her hair, twisting it in his fingers.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are, Mikan?" he whispered, almost seductively with his loving gaze rested on her face. He became a hopeless romantic as soon as he knew the woman whom he loved since he was a child was standing right before her as his lawful wedded wife. He wished he had known sooner that she was the person whom he had searched for all these years. Mikan gasped, her body began rigid under the spell of his captivating voice with sweet words.

"I love you Tangerine," he said huskily, before closing in the distance between them with a kiss. His lips brushed hungrily on hers, craving for more as his hand trailed to her back and unzip her dress slowly. Mikan had no choice but to give in, kissing him back as she laid both arms around his nape.

--

Mikan eyes fluttered open, meeting the ceiling of the dimly lit study room. She shivered a little when the sleeping Natsume shifted his hand around her waist in his sleep. They were sleeping on the comforter with the sofa cushions surrounding them. The fire crackled in the fireplace washed them with gentle heat against their bare bodies that were covered with a white sheet as a blanket. Carefully placing Natsume hand away, she dressed up, walking across the room with quiet steps. There was something else that had piqued her when she discovered the old photo. It was a small worn out diary that was covered in, if she wasn't mistaken, blood.

She opened it, gasped in fear as she learnt the bitter fact that Natsume was a murderer who killed her father along with five others men.

--

-:-

--

Natsume was lost for words, staring at the contract with a slightly opened jaw. It was a contract asking for a divorce and he shot his head up to meet her eyes. His lips thinned disapprovingly.

"What is this?" he hissed at her, trying to control his anger. He was never a patient man.

"You can read it." Mikan bit her lips hard, trying not to cry. "It is as it stated—"

"I know what it said," snapped Natsume. His patience was wearing thin. His probing eyes were on her as anger was written all over his face. "Why," asked Natsume in a demanding tone. Mikan threw her gaze away from him, folding her arms.

"Why did you marry me Natsume? Did you even love me?" asked Mikan, her voice weaved in bitterness. Natsume stared at her disbelievingly and took her by her shoulder, staring at her eye level with sincere.

"I do, Mikan. So why are you giving me this? Have you grown tired on me?" Mikan flinched at his tone that was soaked in possessiveness at his last comment. She kept quiet. "Mikan, please, I won't sign this until I get the proper answer." Suffocating silence engulfed them afterwards.

"I…" began Mikan, meeting his gaze after that, "I saw it Natsume." She gave him a hard look, "I saw the diary, I know what you've done." Natsume eyes widened when he saw she fished a familiar old book from her pocket. His grips on her shoulder loosened as he took a few steps backward in disbelief.

"W-Where did you find that…" he asked, his face paled. She clicked her tongue in disgust.

"I wanted to believe that this wasn't yours Natsume, but…" she shook her head in disbelief, "_You killed my father, Natsume. You killed my father_!" Natsume couldn't meet her eyes. He knew that he had done that.

"Please Mikan, listen to me…" began Natsume but Mikan slapped his hand off along with a hiss, "Don't touch me." She glared at him in hatred. "Sign it and leave Natsume Igara—no, Natsume Hyuuga. I hate you." Natsume threw the document to his side, letting the paper to flutter weightlessly in the air before it landed on the floor disarrayed.

"I…" Natsume bit his lips, trying not to argue back and swivelled to his back, giving a hard punch on the table that broke at once upon contact. Mikan startled terribly. Natsume didn't want to hurt her and he strode across the room and out of the house. Mikan was left crying with the mixture of fear and heartbroken in the room. She wished that it was all a dream.

--

-:-

--

"Mikan," Ruka Nogi called as he leaned towards the passenger's seat, looking outside the window. Mikan swiveled, looking at him.

"Yes?" A few strain of her hair fell on her face and Ruka blushed slightly. He was known to have loved her but Mikan could never see him in the same way. To her, he's her best friend.

"Are you sure you want to go alone?" he asked, giving a hard stare at the Igarashi Mansion now stood abandoned for years. "I know that Igarashi is nowhere to be found but it's a little dangerous to go there alone you know." Mikan giggled audibly, shaking her head.

"I'm sure, Ruka-pyon. And I think Hiroki and Hikaru would love to wake up with their Uncle Pyon with them." Mikan signaled him to the two sleeping twins at the back of the car. Ruka turned to look at them. His azure eyes hardened slightly at the sight on how much the three years old boy and girl resembled their father by their raven hair, reminding him of the hated man again.

"Okay, I'll stay. Take care, Mikan." He gave her a sad smile and he got a bright smile from her in reply.

"I'll be back soon." Mikan walked and stopped in front of the unkept gate. She sighed as she trailed a finger on it, remembering each memory she had with Natsume. She pinched herself afterward, telling herself over and over again to forget about him. She opened the gate and walked towards the mansion. Upon arriving to the study room after entering the mansion, she went off to search for a lost photo album belonged to her late father.

A dusty black diary fell out from the said album that she found at the topmost of the shelf and it landed on the floor with a loud thud. Mikan brows furrowed in curiosity as she picked the book up and leaf it through. It belonged to her father's and she smiled at the familiar handwriting. She had always admired his father's neat handwritings but she became puzzled when she saw a page that was written scribbly. It was dated when she was five. Mikan couldn't believe what she was reading, learning that how her father and those whom she believed Natsume had killed, had brutally killed Natsume's family for the sake of the supposedly Natsume's father's research.

A sob choked on her throat before she began to burst to tears. She was shocked to know that her father was the real criminal and Natsume was a terrible victim, seeking for revenge. Mikan had always loved him and never had a chance to get over him. If only she could meet him, she would ask for forgiveness for not listening to his excuses.

It was then, the door to the study room swung open, revealing a raven haired man before it. Natsume froze when he saw her, staring at her for five good second and turned around to leave.

"I'll come later…" he muttered quietly. He clenched his jaw, wishing that he could at least ask her why she was crying but then realizes in chagrin that he was in no position to ask her so.

"No, no, no, Natsume. Come back!" she cried, running towards him and hugged him from his back. Natsume stiffened, he cursed inwardly to note that he couldn't get over her. He was still madly in love with her. He clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"Let go. I'm a murderer, remember?" he said almost harshly. Natsume was surprised when her grasp tightened around his waist.

"No… I'm sorry Natsume. I should have listened to you. I know the truth. I know what my father with the others did to your family." Natsume stood still. He didn't know whether to push her away or not. He smiled bitterly at the thought and threw his eyes on the ground.

"What can we do now? You became fatherless because I killed your father and I grew up without my parent's love because he killed my parents. Irony, huh? The victim became the criminal and the criminal became the victim." Natsume laughed humorlessly. "It's too late for everything now… I'm trying to start anew."

"No, please. I can't live a day without thinking of you Natsume," began Mikan but Natsume cut her off with a sarcastic laugh, "Really now…"

"Yes. They looked so much like you, Hikaru… she acts like you and Hiroki has your love. He's protective over his sister…" Natsume blinked at her, unsure on what she was talking about.

"Who…?" he asked, turning to look at her. Mikan gave him an apologetic smile as she let go of him.

"You are a father now, Natsume. When you left, I got pregnant to a twin." Natsume stared at her in disbelief. He wanted to comment, hoping that she would say it was all a joke but it never came and he couldn't find his voice. Clenching his jaw, he gulped difficultly. Mikan walked towards him, placing his hands in hers and gave it a peck. "Please Natsume, let's get back together again… for the sake of our love and our children." Natsume flinched when he heard the word 'love' and 'children'.

"I don't deserve it Mikan. They grew up without me, how old are they now? Three? Three years without me, I've failed as a father." He slipped his hands off hers and faced his back at her.

"It's not too late Natsume, they're barely three. It's never too late, never had," Mikan said, assuring. "I missed you, I love you Natsume. Please come back." Natsume's crimson eyes flickered to meet hers at the sound of hope. It was then when the sound of giggles grew louder and two little children came running into the room, hiding behind the dusty shelves.

"No, no! Come back, listen to Uncle Ruka now. No—Hikaru! Tsk, Hiroki, don't." Ruka appeared before the door and he froze when he saw Natsume was with Mikan. He stood up straight, glared at the raven haired man. "What on Earth are you doing here?" Ruka hissed. Mikan held out a hand, signaling him with an apologetic smile not to interfere. She swiveled, a playful smile was on her lips as she stared at the twins.

"Hiro-chan, Hika-chan, come here honey." Mikan's voice was motherly and the two raven haired children came running towards her. She caught them in a hug.

"Mommy, Uncle Ruka pwwomise ush Fluff Pluff," said Hikaru, almost monotonously. Her lazy butterscotch eyes glinted in glee. She was about to look at her brother when she too, like her brother, noted someone unknown though familiar looking standing behind their mother. They both stared at him with wonder at the man.

"Hiro-chan, Hika-chan…. This is your daddy," Mikan patted their head lovingly.

"Really?" gasped Hiroki. "So, daddy's back?" he took a step forward, hesitating at the man who stood like a statue before him. Natsume then realized what he was getting at and a long lost smile was on his lips as he spread his arms open. Hiroki and Hikaru ran towards him and jumped into his arms.

"Argh!" Natsume laughed as he stumbled backward, with the giggling twins in his sturdy arms. "You kids are heavy! What did your mother feed you with? Meat?" Mikan scoffed at him, pouting as she folded her arms.

"I did not!" said Mikan with fake anger before a smile was on her lips. Natsume felt hopeful in the family. He had always wanted to go back. With the twins in one arm, he called for Mikan with a finger beckoning her to come to him and an amused smile was on his lips. Being innocent as always, Mikan complied. Just as she bend down, prompting him to talk, a passionate kiss was on her lips with a hand on her nape, pulling her closer to his face. He kissed her eagerly, like there were no tomorrows, ignoring the heat that crept on his face. It was Ruka's significant rasping that broke the kiss, reminding them that they weren't alone.

Mikan looked away, couldn't hide the blush that colored her face. After a while, she turned to look at the smiling Natsume who was playing with the twins. She caught his eyes and stared at him knowingly. They knew that they were going to be a happy family. All four of them, in this very mansion.

"Will you marry me, again, Mikan? This time, you're going to be Mikan Hyuuga."

**-:-**

**Okay, ****_I hope that is okay_. ****This story is the hardest story I have ever written so far. You have to admit that this might be the only story you read in GAFFN that has the name Natsume Igarashi. The little twins is taken from 'Keeping up with the Hyuugas' and 'MY FOE IS MY FIANCE?!!'**

**Make my day with your review. :) **

**THW.**

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**Please do vote on the DOMN competition once the voting starts. The link is on my profile. Thank you.**

**~sarahpatrick**


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